A question asked to me,
my answer, story of my positive thought epiphany and the reason for this new direction of cazza.com, keep reading...
Nic and I were staying at The Imperial Hotel in Delhi, as a treat, after a 6 day 13,000km endurance motorcycle ride through the foothills of the Himalaya's (future post) in 2011.
We were on our way to see the Rajasthani ladies, who sold vintage saris and passed a Tibetan row of shops.
This chap, a tall and striking man, in his pink turban, leaned to me and said, 'I know your mothers name'
A little freaked out, on we went and brought tons of saris, only in pink, for the Hassay wedding extraganza the following summer. Not one picture of the decoration I created for the wonderful wedding, here's the happy couple.
On our return to the hotel, Nic fancied having his boots shined by one for the guys on the row. They did a very good job and new laces too.
I was intrigued by my fellow and sat down with him. He looked deep into my eyes and asked me to think 'What is your biggest wish in life? He wrote it on a piece of paper as well as my husband and mothers name, my date of birth and how many babies.
He got everything correct, even the spelling of the names. He also told me I'd be famous, but not rich, (whatever that means) and when I would die.
I have been on this happiness tip for a while.
I had an epiphany at Bestival 07 where I nearly lost my mind to positive thought.
I had a great weekend with my finance, at the time, Nic. Whilst in the woods, I lost my purse with all my cards and money, (bummer). My bag was too small for my possessions and it fell out. I had a funny call to India to cancel my cards and said 'let's go to the lost property department and I'm going to experiment, thinking positively that my purse will be there.' En route Kate Nash was playing on the main stage. I wasn't a fan, thought she was trying to be too Lily Allen at the time. Again testing my theory of switching your thought to positivity, I willed her to be good and she was amazing. Brilliant on the piano, funny and charming and her singing was great.
Buoyed by the success of Kate, we headed to the lost property tent. It was packed with people, all loosing various things. I had to stay strong to my belief, the purse would be there. My thoughts did waver, Bestival was packed that year, so many people, everywhere. As I turned to the front a pretty lady was holding my purse in the air. I looked inside, everything was intact. I was overjoyed!
I love Bestival and the idea of positive thought ran riot in my mind. I did calm down when I lost my voice and scared Nic into wondering if he'd done the right thing by proposing.
How's things been since then?
I married the man of my dreams, Nic and had a beautiful festival of love weekend wedding.
I worked with DOM&NIC as their costume designer 2007- 2014, I was earning money and traveling the world, I had a wonderful time.
I relaunched cazza.com in 2013 with a new logo (the one I use now) by Adrianna Carver and great capes and a cool photo shoot by Sam Hiscox, make up Isadora, hair Emma Joy Ruffle Hedges.
I got super fit, skinny (a bit too skinny) and healthy. Glastonbury was great, the capes were brilliant!
(Look a bit stropy in this one, think I was trying to be cool)
Then I became pregnant, I went into training and had an amazing birth and now I'm trying to be a brilliant mum to Gloria. We spend a lot of time in the park. There are many photos of her on the swings, a little project.
Things have been pretty amazing! Am I lucky or has it been my positive thought patterns?
I know things can't always be happy and sunny. Life is a moving flowing river and sometimes the water is choppy and you might feel like your in trouble or drowning. But the water does continue and you will get to gentle dappled lit bank where you can rest, or something.
I can get very frustrated, angry and cross, the super strop is quite a thing. I have been know to rattle the windows of HQ, our house with shouts, screams and slamming doors. This isn't very often and it's usually aimed at myself and lack of knowledge or skill, I have a history of failed creative projects.
In this picture I was extremely cross with the gale blowing at LPM, our French renovation project. It had knocked my hand washed sheets, off the line and into the mud, I was furious!
And my mum is ill, she has dementia. It's horrible to see her fade away, returning to child like qualities. She says 'I'm fine' and is/was the most loving person. My dad cares for her and it's heartbreaking to see the stress he's under. He is an amazing man and coping very well.
He finds so much joy in Gloria, that makes me happy. I see them more now than I have done over the last twenty years.
I suppose the reason I want to document my life with photography, film and now the stories (and if I really have a word with myself) Deep down I am worried I'll get dementia too and not remember Nic's name or Gloria and all the fun we've had.
I hope by then there will be a cure or if I look after myself eat blueberries and have a turmeric cocktail every night and exercise and keep active, I might not catch it? Who knows, it's worth a try. ( I know you cannot catch Dementia)
My Indian guru said I'd die at 86, so I'm nearly mid way through. Miranda Sawyer wrote a great piece about the subject. I am officially middle aged and that's fine. I can't stop the clock or that flowing river but over 40 you really have to look after yourself. I want the next half of my life to be even better than the first. I have released myself from the shackles of my studio and heavy weight of disappointment with my creative disasters. I want my creations to be successful and this new cazza.com to be brilliant. It's early days and I'm learning on the job, the site and my writing isn't perfect, I will have to work hard towards greatness.
In my future, I want to be healthy, happy and inspired, writing cazza.com is making me buzz with ideas. I want to try this crazy idea, that by thinking positively and doing manifestation mediation, my wishes will come true. It's been going pretty well so far. I'm sorry if you think I'm showing off, I am just presenting the facts.
It's not all about cazza, I want to investigate further and inspire others to make their wishes come true too.
Please take 10 minutes and 'sit down by the waters edge' And manifest your dreams.
Please share my post with like minded friends and let's all be happy.
Love love,
Cxxx